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п»ї<title>When fear turns into trauma</title>
We all have fears, a completely natural reaction to a threat. But where is the limit between fear and trauma? When do we cross the limits of fear and start talking about something much more serious?
Being afraid is normal and always, at some point in our life, this feeling will appear. But, we do not talk about the same when we refer to trauma, as this is a toxic wound that affects us in our daily lives.
"He who fears to suffer suffers from fear."
-Chinese proverb
A trauma makes us remember everything in detail
Traumas usually appear when something serious happens to us, such as a robbery, a kidnapping or a rape. Situations that, on the other hand, it is normal that they produce fear in us, since they are not exactly pleasant. But, when do we stop talking about an adaptive fear and consequent with the experience and start talking about trauma?
When a fear becomes a trauma, images appear in our mind in a repetitive and uncontrollable way. Suddenly, we cannot stop feeling and remembering everything that has happened to us, mentally reliving it over and over again, reviewing an experience that plunges us into a prison of anguish.
Is it negative to remember everything that has happened to us and that is potentially traumatic? Not really, no. The negative thing is to let ourselves be dragged by those feelings and memories that only generate discomfort. We cannot erase the memories, but we can implement strategies to make them leave our focus quickly.
"Your fear ends when your mind realizes that it is your mind that creates that fear."
-Anonymous-
Is it possible to get out of this situation? The answer is yes, but it takes time. Think that you have no absolute control over what goes on in your mind. Even if you want to reduce those thoughts that harass you again and again, they will most likely come back and it is best to be prepared.
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How to forget sad or negative memories?
Memories shape and build who we are. Choosing to erase those negative past events from our minds is not always a good remedy.
We predict a dark future
In addition to remembering everything in detail, we begin to think about a hopeless future. A future full of darkness and completely negative and empty experiences. We see ourselves immersed in a circle that is getting bigger and bigger, from which we do not know how to get out and in which we are gradually drowning.
This is a perception that we develop about the world. Actually, not everything is as black as it seems, but in our reality there are no encouraging options, there is no hope. Everything that seems gray is acquiring a darker and darker tonality.
When we find ourselves in this state, we begin to distrust everything and everyone. Paranoia sets in, we feel persecuted and cornered. This state is called hypervigilance.
You have been robbed, kidnapped or raped and you are afraid it will happen again. You think it could happen again at any moment and that is why you are alert. Have you ever found yourself in such a situation?
"Even the bravest person is afraid."
-Bernardo Stamateas
If you can't imagine this situation, you may remember the sensations you feel after watching a scary movie: any sound makes you tremble. Your senses are alert, picking up any bumps, voices or sounds that would otherwise go unnoticed. The same is true of trauma.
Failed attempts to erase memories
One of the techniques to get out of this situation is to try to block and eliminate these memories. But this is very difficult to achieve, since we do not yet have a rubber that can affect our memory in such a selective way.
Thus, feelings become the substitutes for memories as the usual object of intervention. In this way, people who suffer a trauma often become cold and apathetic. This is a classic psychological mechanism that we all use without anyone having taught it to us: dissociation.
Not everyone can put this mechanism into practice and it is not a long-term solution either. The memories will still be there, you would only have changed your way of acting and seeing things. In reality, you are lying to yourself.
It is clear that there are experiences that hurt, it is clear that you will go through bad and good moments, nothing will ever be perfect. But, don't try to overcome all this by escaping from fear and activating mechanisms that sooner or later will fall on their own and reveal the pain you carry inside.
Ignoring your emotions and feelings will never be the best option to overcome your fear.
Facing fear
As we have always said, the best thing to do in these cases is to face your fears. Take all those memories, all those traumas, and face them! You still have time to solve all this.
Fear does not have to block you, fear can remain in a tolerable and adaptive state without necessarily transforming into trauma.
If it has already done so, solve it as soon as possible. Seek professional help if you need it, they will give you the specific keys to your case and will accompany you on the way out, starting from the situation in which you find yourself.
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