7 Buddhist Keys to Dealing with Anger
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п»ї<title>7 Buddhist Keys to Dealing with Anger</title>
Buddhists believe that dealing with anger requires training. For this, there are certain attitudes and virtues to develop. In this way, anger will not cause serious consequences, nor will it become a self-destructive force.
Now, feeling anger is completely normal. The problem is that if we do not know how to deal with it, we can hurt others and ourselves. Let's not forget that sometimes getting angry for a few minutes changes an entire life.
"The mind is everything. What you think you become."
-Buddha-
Buddhism insists on meditation as a way to gain greater self-control and awareness. Likewise, there are some keys that, together with meditation, contribute to learning to deal with anger. These are seven of them.
1. Acceptance, a linchpin for dealing with anger
Buddhism points out that the best way to begin dealing with anger is to accept that we feel it. It sounds like a truism, but many people give anger a different name. They try to soften it or make it up because they find it deplorable to feel.
No emotion is by itself negative or positive. Negative or positive depends on how we manage what happens to us and how we feel. Human beings are subject to experience all kinds of feelings, the important thing is to recognize and accept them.
2. Be a heroIf in the face of anger all we do is explode and give free rein to our impulses, it means that we are still too weak to deal with anger. The latter is only achieved by strong spirits, the heroes. They know that whoever lets anger go unchecked, tends to generate new evils.
Heroism lies in not reacting and practicing patience. It is a matter of not getting carried away, of waiting, so that we do not become prisoners of our impulses. We have to give ourselves time to respond to the situation intelligently.
3. RealismAnger is an emotion that puts us at risk and threatens our physical and mental health. It is not an ally, but the opposite: an enemy. However, it is frequent that a fantasy appears, according to which, to let anger out uncontrollably is a way of reaffirming ourselves.
We cannot allow ourselves to be carried away by this illusion. Likewise, it is possible that the same anger can lead us to overestimate the situation. Is the situation, or the person, really causing us such serious harm? Does seeking to harm him or her, or being destructive, really lead us to a solution?
4. ObservationSelf-observation is a helpful way to deal with anger. Before reacting, it is good to stop for a moment to explore what is happening in our body. Which muscles are tense? How do we feel our viscera? How is our breathing?
Likewise, it is important to explore the ideas going through our mind. Instead of thinking about the other person or the situation that is causing us discomfort, let us focus our attention on ourselves. This observation exercise has a great potential to reduce this emotion.
5. Learn from the enemyBuddhism advises to care for, protect and preserve the enemy. At first it may seem contradictory, but it is actually a compassionate and intelligent way to deal with anger. The question is: what can I learn from that person, object or situation that provokes me to anger?
It is important that we are willing to give in. Thinking that we are not the holders of the truth, nor do others have to agree with us. Let us try to find the validity of that which opposes us. Surely, there is some truth in that other.
6. Remembering deathIt is very common to find people who have had near-death experiences that have changed their perspective. It happens because this type of situations show crudely that everything ends, even our life. For this reason, it is not good to waste it on nonsense.
So a good idea would be to ask ourselves how important that person or that situation would be, if this were the last day of our life. Would it be worth dedicating the hours we have left to that situation, that feeling or that person?
7. Sow
According to Buddhists and common sense, we usually reap what we sow. Therefore, we are responsible for our suffering. If we sow destruction, that is what we will reap. If we start a cycle of violence, sooner or later, we will be victims of it.
Therefore, we must take care of our way of reacting, think about our well-being and be aware of the implications that this can bring us. Under a state of anger this is impossible. So the right thing to do is to give ourselves room to reflect.
All these keys of Buddhism to deal with anger seek, above all, to remind us that acting impulsively almost always brings negative consequences. It is our mind that should direct our actions and not the actions that condition the mind.
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