The ego traps that veto our freedom and personal growth.
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п»ї<title>The ego traps that veto our freedom and personal growth.</title>
The traps of the ego veto our happiness. Because this essence of our being is never satisfied, it anesthetizes us with its demands, its fears and its tricks, it leads us to an unhealthy attachment until it places us in an eternal comfort zone where nothing happens. We must be able to sanitize the ego to make of it that extraordinary psychic sinew that favors our freedom.
When we talk about this psychological dimension, we often get lost in its definitions. Sigmund Freud defined the ego as that entity that is forced to negotiate almost daily with impulses and social standards. It was also that structure that can be rationalized and balanced through personal work. However, if we now turn to Eastern approaches or those defined by spirituality, such as the one enunciated by Eckhart Tolle, things change slightly.
In the latter case, the ego is a type of unhealthy self-consciousness driven by selfishness. It is this inner force that we must know how to control, educate and redirect.
Thus, whatever the case, whether in the Freudian approach or in the approach nuanced by Eastern philosophies, there is a common axis on which we can base ourselves. It is that which speaks to us of the need to educate it, to modify its drives and remove that unhealthy crust to make it something more luminous, useful and in tune with our personal growth.
Knowing the traps of the ego is undoubtedly the threshold from which to start in order to become aware of many of its dynamics. Let's see them below.
"Your ego can become an obstacle to your work. If you start by believing in your greatness, it is the death of your creativity".
-Marina Abramovic
The traps of the egoThe key to well-being, that which promotes self-fulfillment and an authentic sense of happiness, lies in balance. For this reason, there are those who venture to say that to achieve it there is nothing better than putting the ego on a "diet".
We should do the same with it as we do with our diet. Often, we ourselves fall into these unhealthy diets where saturated fats end up inflaming and bloating us. Thus, far from being satiated, we experience more craving and hunger.
The same thing happens with the ego. The craving for praise, recognition, approval or power swell a false self-esteem that is always hungry. That one that, at the slightest moment, ends up deflating. We have to build muscle, we have to exercise our psychological values through humility, determination and psychological flexibility. Hence, it is essential to identify those ego traps that are so recurrent in many of us.
1. I always want to be rightThere are people like this. It doesn't matter if the evidence is as strong and solid as a ten-story building. There are those who, in any circumstance, moment or condition, always want to have the truth in their favor. Thus, and in order to always put the scales on their side, they do not hesitate to deploy the most varied (and harmful) tricks.
The ego in these circumstances, weighs excessively and does not help anyone. It is a trap for bears to know how to recognize and delimit.
2. Why don't others act as I wish and expect? In a way, all of us have experienced this same feeling. That of despair when we see that people we appreciate do not do or behave as we expect. This fact, that of wanting those who make up our closest circles to always act as we wish, is not only one more of the traps of the ego. It is also a source of suffering.
The ideal in these cases is not to condition ourselves, to limit ourselves to be and let be. Because respecting and even valuing that others act according to their principles and desires is an act of respect and also of personal growth.
3. The constant sense of lackIf I had a bigger house I would be happy. If I could save a little more I could buy the cell phone that that particular brand has just released. If I had a loving partner who would take my life on a plate, I would be perfect....
If we look closely, the sense of lack is imprinted in much of our society. We never feel complete or satisfied. We are always missing something, we always long for that detail that if we could possess it would offer us immeasurable happiness. However, when we manage to possess that goal, the satisfaction soon expires and we put our hopes in something else, another dimension, another person.
4. The need for approvalWe all need to feel accepted. After all, we move in social scenarios where coexistence is always more fluid and meaningful if there is acceptance among us. However, as we pointed out at the beginning, the key lies in balance. Feeling accepted is good, obsessing about always having the approval of others is not at all healthy, and it puts chains on our freedom and personal fulfillment.
Sometimes, the ego and its need for recognition must go on a diet, it must become thin enough to be able to make decisions without anyone's permission.
"Egolatry is the source of all miseries."
-Thomas Carlyle
5. I feel inferior (or superior) to othersEgo traps are not only designed through abuse. Through the egomania of those who want more, of those who believe they are more than anyone else or need more than anyone else. Those pitfalls of our personal growth are also shaped by feelings of lack.
Feeling less than others, perceiving that every effort is in vain when the rest surpasses us in almost everything, also leads us to suffering. Because anorexic egos also sicken the mind, limit us and turn us into blurred shadows.
Thus, it never hurts to remember that personal integrity also requires an ego capable of protecting itself without falling into excesses. Of a centered, strong self-esteem that knows how to validate itself and, at the same time, exercise respect for others.
To conclude, ego traps are those traps in which we often leave big chunks of dignity and self-esteem. It is that little man who dwells inside us and likes to poison us with false needs, with the constant rumor of I want that, I lack that, I can't stand what, I hate what...
Let us learn therefore to silence that annoying voice. Let us succeed day by day in identifying its tricks a little better so that we can readjust its dynamics and put them in our favor. The ego should never be an obstacle, it should be that humble, wise and focused ally that helps us to grow a little more every day.
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