Fear, sadness and frustration, the most common emotions.
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Fear, sadness and frustration. We would not be wrong if we said that these three emotions are the ones that now upholster many of our hours in this time when we are accompanied by more difficulties than usual. They are three completely normal states of mind that curiously are uniting us as humanity. Somehow, a great part of us are feeling them.
Experts used to say that the large amount of self-help literature based on happiness had somehow turned us into people intolerant of negative emotions. We have been taught to be happy, they said, and they have forgotten to tell us what to do when the veil of distress arises.
Now, in reality, the human being has always known very well how these more adverse emotional states are and what they taste like. And each one of us has been managing them in our own way. Better or worse.
Suffering is not new to us, but this time it has come in a different way and has caught us by surprise. Each person is experiencing it in a particular way.
There are those who feel more fortunate to experience fewer changes, to have certainties in their work project, to see hope for the future. Others, on the other hand, go through this more adverse scenario in which losses and the abyss of uncertainties towards the future are present.
Wherever we are from and whatever our situation, we all experience fear, uneasiness and the taste of sadness at more than one moment.
Fear, sadness and frustration, those companions in difficult times.
Life has reached a chapter in which the narrative has taken on somewhat surrealistic overtones. Health crises, social crises, changes that we did not expect... It seems that this part of our life cycle is written by a bad writer, but in reality, thinking about this makes us think that we have no control over anything that is happening.
There is something to understand. We cannot control the circumstances that surround us, but we can control our reactions and behaviors.
How we do so will determine a more appropriate coping towards those days ahead of us. The key words we should integrate these days would be: acceptance, transformation and resilience.
As Abraham Maslow, renowned humanistic psychologist, said, life is a continuous process of growth and that task is often painful. But there are times when that suffering is more intense and more is demanded of us. We must be prepared.
A first step is to face and understand this internal emotional universe. Let us remember once again that our brain does not speak English, Spanish or Chinese. The brain speaks the language of emotions and we must understand them.
So, during this time of difficulties and challenges, our traveling companions are going to be them: fear, sadness and frustration.
Stand guard at the door of fearStand guard at the door of your fears. Assume that it is normal to have them, that it is permissible to feel fear before what we cannot control, what we see, what surrounds us... But do not make that door bigger than it is to give entrance to irrational thoughts that feed panic, do not give way to what has not happened yet.
Focus, rationalize and talk to someone you trust when you feel the fears are taking your breath away.
In psychology there is a mechanism called dispositional bias that is interesting to keep in mind. Often, when people live situations full of uncertainty and fear, we give veracity and power to that which is closest to us: to that false news we have read, to that unfortunate message that has been sent to us, to that thought we have just had that is completely unfounded.
Remember that your brain, when it experiences fear, stops reasoning in a logical and balanced way. It is permeated by the most dangerous emotion, fear. Take control.
Sadness, the attic of reflection
Fear, sadness and frustration... These emotions have meaning and purpose on their own; also during these times of difficulty. The strategy is to accept them, but avoid giving them too much power so that they control us completely.
In this case, sadness acts as a mental attic to which it is convenient to climb from time to time. This emotion is full of meanings, it is a chest that must be opened to discover what it wants to tell us. In these circumstances we are going through, it is normal and advisable to spend some time with it.
We feel nostalgia for certain things we had and could do before. We also suffer for others. It fills us with sorrow to think about what may happen tomorrow. We are disturbed by many things but to assume and accept all these internal realities is something necessary. Because it is something normal given the context of these complicated times.
Let us not become obsessed with the idea of "always being at 100%" because it is completely impossible. Let us allow ourselves these moments of sadness.
Frustration, the fire that we must know how to channelBetween fear, sadness and frustration, it is this last emotion that has the most dynamic component. To understand it better, it is necessary to understand the importance of this dimension.
It is perfectly normal to feel frustrated during these days. Our lifestyle has changed, personal, work and economic uncertainty is present in these difficult times.
There are many things that worry us and others that make us angry. But be careful, because frustration is also a trigger for anger. It is she who will bring us the bad mood in some moments of the day and also she, who will fill us with dissatisfaction and nervousness.
To make good use of these we must understand one detail. Both anger and frustration are emotions that invite to action (the opposite of sadness, much more introspective).
The key is to use them to channel them properly. Frustration asks you to change, it demands ingenuity and creativity to respond to what worries you.
Use your imagination. If you are anxious about the future, come up with a plan, think of options without falling into fatalism. Make your mind a stage of ideas where open, flexible and positive thinking flows. This is the only way to channel fear, sadness and frustration.
Get going, learn to be a good manager of your emotions and do not forget to take care of yourself, and also take the temperature of your emotional health.
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