In the end, things are not always what they appear to be.
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п»ї<title>To be happy, you have to leave room for the unexpected</title>
It was Euripides who once said that the expected does not happen because it is the unexpected that happens, that can really change our lives. However, making room for the unforeseen, for that which escapes our control requires above all a receptive heart and an open mind, because only then can we reach those wonderful opportunities with which to "move forward".
Something that sociologists or even economic researchers like the well-known essayist Nassim Nicholas Taleb often tell us is that people act as if we can predict what is going to happen tomorrow, the day after and even next week. Our placid ignorance, or rather our exaggerated need to think that we have everything under control, often makes us not know how to react when suddenly something happens that we did not expect.
"To expect the unexpected is a sign of a profoundly modern spirit."
-Oscar Wilde
This behavior or this very primary need is explained by a very simple principle: our brain needs to feel that it has everything under control. It doesn't care if we are unhappy, it just wants us to "survive". Thus, everything that enters the border of the unforeseen or in the region of the unexpected, will be interpreted as a threat or as the echo of a battalion flying a very specific banner: that of danger.
In fact, a very concrete reality that is worth noting is that people who experience more fears, who hide more insecurities and voids, tend to develop in turn a greater need for control over themselves and others. Any controlling person, anyone who pretends to dominate the uncontrollable and leaves not a single slot or sliver for the unexpected or improvisation, is hopelessly condemned to the abyss of dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
Learning from children: great lovers of the unexpectedIt is enough to show a baby something unexpected to instantly capture his attention. Their eyes are fascinated in a second by anything out of the ordinary, anything that brings bright colors and defies logic or gravity.
They possess a natural and instinctive ability to embrace everything unpredictable and amazing in their surroundings. However, we -with our adult glasses and our rational filters- have lost this capacity that stimulates learning.
In fact, as a study conducted at Johns Hopkins University by psychologist AimГ©e Stahl explains, babies between 9 and 11 months old feel a predilection for all those stimuli that apparently escape logic. To demonstrate this, a curious experiment was conducted with a group of babies in which they were presented with two types of toys: one that seemed to pass through walls (due to an optical effect) and another that simply bounced against them and then fell to the floor.
Surprisingly enough, the babies were more interested in the one that seemed to do something impossible: go through the wall. The experts concluded from these tests that young children are hardwired to notice the unexpected. However, as we grow up, the unexpected is very often interpreted as something beyond our control and therefore dangerous...
When people are trapped in a new situation for which we have no ready-made plan, we tend to experience distress and stress. Instead of being trapped in the barbed wire of fear, let's allow ourselves to be children again from time to time, embracing all the positive things that the unexpected can bring...
Leave a little corner for the unexpected in your lifeDo so, leave the door of your heart ajar to let in new, joyful, unruly breezes from time to time: for they surely won't hurt you. Allow yourself a little corner in your life for the unpredictable, for what you do not expect and that is off the agenda, far, far away from your own goals. Because the realm of the unexpected can be more profitable than we think, in fact, great explorers have discovered entire continents under the designs of serendipity, and many renowned figures have given us their best contributions under the influence of serendipity.
Steve Jobs once said in a lecture to recent graduates of Stanford University that life is nothing more than learning to "connect the dots". Many of those unexpected things that happen to us throughout our lives take on real meaning when we see them in perspective.
For example, the job we have now may not be very satisfying, but we have made good friendships in it, which in turn have initiated us into a hobby that we love, that enriches us emotionally and intellectually to the point that we want to dedicate ourselves to it professionally. We do it, and by setting up our own business we also meet the love of our life.
As we see one thing can lead us to another, we jump from stone to stone in this unstoppable river of our existence almost without realizing it. However, to appreciate the beauty and opportunity of each of these points we must be receptive to the magical web that destiny unfolds before us every day. And we must do so with an open and positive attitude, because those who expect the unexpected with a willing mind open more opportunities for happiness.
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